You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize