the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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