well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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