i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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