Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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