Is it normal to miss your booty call?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
