Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
