If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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