I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
