A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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