Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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