he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
