please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
