OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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