Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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