he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
