I cut my penus on the lid.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
