It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize