So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I think my fart just growled at me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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