i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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