we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
