I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
