So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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