Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
