I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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