oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
