Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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