Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
