Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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