And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
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