tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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