I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
