Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
