i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
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while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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