im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
