when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
