I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My ass is underappreciated
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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