she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time