Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
