you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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