Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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