have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
