Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
