so that wasnt chicken after all
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
