Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
babies were throwing up all over the place
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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