we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
