Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
