it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
