oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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