we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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