could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
