Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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