Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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