Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
