The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
