she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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