i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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