We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
