Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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