she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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