yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
