It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
