Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
