so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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