sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize