he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
