I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
