He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
