THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize