Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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