R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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